We all have different things that we are responsible for within our relationship. I have, in the past, been told to do various things that made it look like, to others, that I was not in service; in fact many times people thought we were either both Masters or even at times that he was in service to me. In fact, what I was doing very much had to do with my service to him. Knowing Master M and kelly as I do, I have no doubt that part of her service to him is to make sure lists stay active if they are on them or if one of them moderate it.

I always find it interesting the various ways M/s can look. I have one friend who says her duty is to earn a paycheck. I have another who is purely a companion slave -- anything the Master enjoys, they accompany. I, on the other hand, generally help someone achieve specific goals.

I like to think that slaves/property/submissives are a reflection of their Master. Kelly looks, to me, like she is a very engaging individual. I just wish they could have run for NW Master/slave this year!

slavemichael, i'd like to point out that you recently responded to 3 threads that i started in this and the Masters and slaves tribe (which MasterM moderates and i try to help keep it going for him.) One was started 5/21 having the last post on 5/27 until you answered yesterday. This particular thread i started on 6/18 with the last post on 6/19 until it was brought to the top again just today.

All threads have dates and times and perhaps it looks like i am spending my whole day posting to tribe when actually there are threads from months ago and yup...i do like to get new subjects going when the tribes start to go to sleep.


One of the huge benefits of a tool like tribe is that it gives us all a chance to talk AND see how others that are in similar lifestyles do their thing. This particular tribe is one where those that are new as slaves can get information/advice from those that are currently in or have been in M/s relationships.

And to defend myself it should be no surprise that "most" of my time IS focused on my Master but there are also other times when i am allowed to do my own thing.

slave kelly

Kyrana,

you've spoken to my heart. i find that being a slave is not all that i am, and that conflicted me for a while. i also have had many people in my life who either don't see the slave in me or don't bring it forward. as much as they've said it - as much as i feared there was a grain of truth in that - i have always known that it is what i am, my essence.... or one of my essences.

thank you for your eloquence.

auburn

"So, for me, it is a feeling deep in my gut, in the very fiber of my being."

"It isn't something I do.
It isn't something I want to be.
It is something I am. "

Amen sister.

Im the same way with you klg. still trying to find my way

it's interesting how i have heard that again and again "the safety of not being in control"

long story short, it just feels right.

when he does things i can't stand. . . i end up thanking him.

when he commands things i refuse to do. . . moving to obey, my mind still in denial.... i end up proud.

i don't know if he's my "Master Right" . . . but i'm finally really owned and damn if it isn't difficult . . . but i wouldn't have it any other way.

When I first started exploring my slave self (just a few months ago), oh my gosh!, what a gigantic palace of pleasure and comfort! So wonderful to do as I'm told, to offer myself completely and explicitly, to feel my lover's kind determination to make me completely his. I saw his eager enthusiasm. (He's also completely new to the scene.) He ordered books, bought toys, experimented. We rode on an incredible high of new love, potent power exchange, and mutual trust.

Our creativity poured out. Poetry, songs, drawings, stories, videos. Ropes, leather, clamps, blindfolds and whips. In my sleep, my mind would try to get UNDER my submission to a deeper submission. I was headed down, down, down.

Yet some part of me has always been anxious about losing myself, about giving myself away, losing my competence (especially for the sake of being a responsible mom for my 18-year-old son) and now I'm not sure what I want. I can't imagine not being a slave at least some of the time, yet I can't see how to make it work. Maybe it's just because of my inexperienced partner, who's not sure how much of a slave he wants. He wants it, but he doesn't want it. It's confusing for me! I'm hoping we'll settle down into some mutually satisfying resting place.

I'm impressed by how well the slaves/subs in this tribe can talk about themselves without getting mixed up and confused. How do you remember who you are? Is your sense of self intact?