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What does a collar mean to you?

topic posted Sat, March 24, 2007 - 11:43 AM by  Astrea
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I've recently been collared and released recently. I have been collared once before to a Master I had for many years. My recent Master asked me what it meant to wear a collar. Stressing the physical aspect of the experience as well as the psychological and emotional. He pointed out that I don't need to wear a collar to be collared. So, what does the physical act of wearing a collar mean to you?

When he says, "You are mine. I own you." I believe him. When I sit at his feet as he eats, I am in heaven. Yet when he puts a collar around my neck something special happens. The parts of myself that are usually reserved can no longer be. The tactile feeling of having his collar reminds me that I am no longer a girl, I am his girl. I look in the mirror and see it and it reminds me of my place. He tugs at it and I am instantly put where I should be. I am property. His property. All this would be true without the collar, but it is a physical manifestation of his ownership, of his love. And of my love and worship as well. It's like wearing your boyfriend's jacket. It's a symbol of pride, truth and commitment. "Yes I am a slave." It says to those who know the language. I am home. I am safe. I am his.
posted by:
Astrea
SF Bay Area
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  • Re: What does a collar mean to you?

    Fri, November 23, 2007 - 3:54 PM
    I agree that you don't have to actually have a physical collar on to be collared.

    I also love the feel of the physical collar around my neck as a reminder of who I belong to, but I'm still uncertain exactly what a collar really means to me, other than when it's obviously just a toy to be used in scene. I don't think it has quite the same depth of meaning as a wedding ring to me, but it's definitely somewhere past high school or college sweethearts going steady. At the same time, I really can't imagine accepting a permanent collar from someone I wasn't seriously contemplating spending the rest of my life with - and at a point in the relationship where a commitment to work in that direction come what may would make sense, which would include already knowing each other well enough to know that we can get through almost anything together.

    'Tis a bit of a dilemma because I know my Dom wants to collar me, but he's also not terribly clear on what it means to him, at least not in a way that I can assess how I fit into the picture myself. I just know it's too soon for me yet, although I'm not terribly sure I can articulate everything about why. I think that at least one of the issues is that I really need a better understanding of what *he* would be intending it to mean so that I could know we're both on the same page, which I think is really important, no matter what a collar means to any particular couple. But it's still too soon...

    I do also think that it has to be a symbol of my having gotten to a particular place in my willingness to submit to him, to perhaps yielding my independance. But how do you measure that? How do you know?


    • Re: What does a collar mean to you?

      Wed, January 2, 2008 - 2:45 PM
      Over time my ideas of what collaring is have changed. What I express as being as serious as marraige is what I now consider a "full collar". This is not, by any means, the one true way. It's been my experience that the taking of smaller steps in slavery allows both people to be assured (or not) that they are on the same path, page, or journey together. So, for me, there is a collar of consideration, which has the least amount of power exchange. The training collar, and the full collar. With each of these having negotiated traits and expectations it's easier to be clear on what the intent and execution is and should be.

      Right now I'm under a collar of consideration, though I don't actually have a physical collar to symbolize it.
  • Re: What does a collar mean to you?

    Sat, January 5, 2008 - 11:44 PM
    To me being collared in the most complete sense means that both Master and slave have some to mutual terms of complete understanding and trust of each other. (or as complete as any two human beings can get).
    I had someone collar me a few years ago when I first got into accepting my self and my change of life style. I didn't really understand what the collar meant for me at the time. I don't think he fully understood the concept either, just wanted a trophy. It was not a pleasant experience.
    I now own a collar I will place on myself before a scene with a select few and hand them a leash or some form of transfer that means they are in complete charge of that moment until they decide other wise. It wasn't until recently that I was willing to even give that much trust over to anyone.
  • Re: What does a collar mean to you?

    Mon, February 25, 2008 - 7:53 AM
    A collar to me is a form of submission, not to be confused with being collared though! Being collared is in essence being married to your owner, body and soul! I to have been collared before by a Domme, but was released several moths ago when she became ill. As a woman I seek the comfort and closeness of both a lover and a friend, but enjoy the pain/pleasure mix in sex.

    I would like to find a couple to collar me for life - if htey are really out there! I am getting older, and the older I get - I see so many people split up. Too many of my friends are divorced and alone with only their children and careers to enjoy. A guy once told me to have all the pleasure you can - before you get to old to have it. i think for the right couple i would be tattooed or even branded!
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